"Here's an article about some people who were raised speaking Coptic."
Yay, a dead language coming to life! That's just gotta put a little giddy-up in your step, right? So naturally, I clicked the link. And what is the first thing I see?
Coptic is a combination of the ancient Egyptian languages Demotic, Hieroglyphic and Hieratic.
I guess that's finally it. My pet peeve about the difference between a language and a writing (ok, granted, Demotic is both) has just turned into a major friggin' psychotic break. And the whole historical-linguistics and evolution-of-languages thing isn't even worth bitching about. I mean.... come on:
Combining the Greek alphabet with Demotic, Coptic is a unique conglomeration of languages.
That's right, unique. Very unlike combining Latin alphabet with Anglosaxon to get English, or Hebrew alphabet with German to get Yiddish or again Greek alphabet with Slavic to get Old Church Slavonic*.
Did I mention how much I despise journalists?
*Which, of course, ain't how it went down.